Sometimes, I’m NOT nice.
Recently, I received a message from a mother who described to me how she was really struggling with her strong-willed kiddo.
So, in an effort to help, I asked her for her phone number to call her so we could chat and maybe I could be of some assistance.
As she sent me the phone number… THAT’S when I learned it was not the Mom of the strong-willed kiddo who’d reached out to me. It was Gramma who’d watched “her daughter” struggling and was trying to make the connection “for her.”
I absolutely LOVE that Gramma was concerned for her daughter.
So, I offered up my phone number to be passed along to her daughter; the Mom of the spirited kiddo.
Gramma was LIVID.
“YOU’RE NOT GOING TO CALL… HER?” She messaged IN ALL CAPS.
When I replied that she could call me when she was ready, Gramma flipped.
Seriously, the United States Navy (and all their sailors) wished Gramma would tone-down the salty language. That’s how over-the-top her vile spewing was when she discovered I wouldn’t initiate the call to her daughter.
Needless to say – all communication stopped. Although I DID learn from Gramma some new creative ways to try and hurt others through words – something obviously, I’ll never use.
But it got me to thinking about my approach in how I serve families with challenging kids. Am I doing enough? Am I accessible? Am I willing?
Then I was reminded of something I learned the Coast Guard does.
When the coast guard goes out on a stormy night to rescue a boat that is sinking, they bring their helicopter and they hover over the top of the boat. Sometimes, they realize there’s more people in the water than there’s space in the helicopter.
So, who do they save? Who would you save?
It’s a messed up question isn’t it? It’s a tough one. So, do you know what their motto is?
“We Can Only Save Those That Swim Towards Us.”
Think about that. And how profound it is.
“We Can Only Save Those That Swim Towards Us.”
I’m more than willing to help others. Over 1,200 free videos and hundreds of written posts is proof (at least in my mind.)
But if you need more from me, YOU’LL have to do your part.
I know that may sound harsh to some of you… and I don’t mean it to… but this may sound even harsher.
I get SUPER EXCITED about people that swim towards me. Not so much about those who are just “treading water” and yelling at me “SAVE ME!”
Believe me… you don’t want me chasing after people that aren’t willing to help themselves. That way, I free up time for the committed that are serious about becoming the parents their strong-willed kids need.
Again, I don’t want to sound harsh, but I do not have the time to help victim behaviored individuals. I wish it didn’t have to be this way… but it is.
Some individuals are just going to forever complain about their circumstances and never make the necessary changes. And no matter how hard I try, I will be unable to help them.
But then there are those of you that I see swimming hard and working and I get SO FIRED UP I can’t stand myself.
YOU are the reason I do what I do.
So… Here’s the deal…
If you just want to parent by default, or vent, or HOPE your spirited kiddo turns out okay and expect THAT to be the extent of the work you’re willing to do… then you may want to go somewhere else.
What we do; “Thrive In Chaos”… TAKES WORK. And those that choose to work with us are committed and willing to DO the work… not just read posts or watch videos.
We’re here to TRANSFORM lives… and that’s going to take work for ALL of us.
If that’s you… GREAT! Welcome… and we’re here to be of help.
But if you’re offended by this message, let me apologize… and then politely ask you to look elsewhere.
For those of you that choose to stay… Thank you so much for all the kind words and feedback. I need to know that you are out there and thriving, too.
Oh, and sorry, Gramma. I’d love to help, but I can only serve those that are ready.
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