Recently… I dreamed… I was going to die.
You should know, I don’t sleep well. Never have.
And one of the side-effects of not sleeping well is that I wake up many, MANY times during the night. Which also means… I wake up, DURING… many, many dreams.
So, I remember almost all of them.
And frankly, most of them are just ridiculous.
Like ALL the times I dream I can play basketball again… and dunk… or the time I sacrificed myself to the zombies… and even the time the Queen of England tried to French kiss me.
So, most of the time when I have weird dreams, I really don’t think they mean much… so I giggle, think, “that was a doozy” and go back to sleep.
But this night, my dream… made me think… A LOT.
So, in this dream, my wife Shelly (who has since, passed away) and I and my 4 youngest kids, Erik, Ricky and Jack and Chloe were driving through the mountains in a big black (I guess, rented) van on the way to visit a friend at Church. We were dressed in our Sunday best and were gazing at the beautiful peaks rising above us.
The mountains had stripes of snow all over them and seemed to be rising from our feet into the Heavens.
The next thing I know, I had driven off a sheer cliff and we were free falling seemingly to our death.
Immediately… I thought…
We’re all going to die… right now. This is IT!
With no fear at all, I considered… “Am I ready to meet God? Am I worthy, right now? Did I do anything recently that I shouldn’t have? I can’t wait to see my Dad!”
Then, I turned to Shelly who was screaming and said, “You ready? We’re going to die, but we’re together and it’s going to be awesome, right?”
She stopped screaming, kinda, sorta smiled and rolled her eyes at me. Just like she always does when I’m WAY TOO OPTIMISTIC.
I turned back to my 4 kids who were frozen in fear and with a big giant smile on my face, said, “All right guys, we’re about to go meet our Heavenly Father who loves us.
Don’t be scared… this is going to be awesome.”
Immediately, they all relaxed and started to smile back at me.
I thought of Alek and Zak, my two oldest sons who are now starting new chapters of their lives.
Had I done enough to help equip them with what they’d need to “thrive” without us? Will they be okay? Will they TURN TO Heavenly Father for comfort, because of this event, or… gulp, TURN AWAY in bitterness?
I thought of my brothers and sister. Do they know how much I love them? Have they felt my love? Could I have done more… SHOULD I have done more to invite them to partake of all the blessings that are available to them?
I thought of… the world I was leaving behind.
Have I done all I could to brighten the lives of others? Have I REALLY done my best to bless the lives of those I serve?
Have I given all I could to make the world a better place?
I know, I know… this was a TALL cliff. “Dad-Gummit… this is a tall cliff.”
That’s what I thought, in my dream.
Then…
I woke up.
Was soaked in sweat, and had a big ole grin on my face.
Immediately, I thought. “OH, YEAH, A SECOND CHANCE!”
I hopped up, fully awake, grabbed a notepad and starting writing down all my thoughts… and something interesting happened.
I realized.
I CAN do better. I WILL do better. I WILL do more. I SHOULD do more.
As minutes turned in to hours and as I kept writing page after page, I thought.
This is like Jerry McGuire.
I mean, but a lot messier. And not as well written… and frankly, only I can read it. If that.
Now, please understand, I have some crazy dreams. You probably do, too. I just remember many of them because I wake up so often. And this, WAS A DREAM. I don’t imagine I would have thought that or said that or anything like that in real life. IT WAS A DREAM, people.
But what I DO KNOW, is now, I’M KINDA ON FIRE.
And I now have a list, and…
I’m committing to doing more, doing better, and inviting YOU to join me.
Will you join me?
Just so you’ll know. I’m my dreams… you do.
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