This morning I woke up teary-eyed.
I’d dreamed about Shelly again and when I woke up the grief of her absence was a bit more than I could handle. Broken hearts can sometimes be so overwhelmingly painful.
So… I considered, as I wiped away my tears… should I just call in sick for the day? I’ve felt sick all week and have just been “pushing through.” It seems like an okay idea, right? Others will understand, right? I can’t just “man-up” through everything, right?
I dragged myself out of bed with that intention, slid a pillow out from under the side of my bed and knelt.
Today… especially today… I need His divine help.
So for the next few minutes I decided to ASK for help. I talked with God about my pain, my grief and my overwhelming heartbreak. I opened up about my fears, my worries and my doubts. I admitted my shortcomings, my flaws and my missteps.
I laid it all right out there for God to see. I got raw with God. It got real. I’ve got nothing to hide, God. I need help. Please. I need YOUR help… especially today.
Suddenly… I felt a calming and comforting warmth. And I was OVERWHELMED with a feeling of love.
I paused and soaked it in… and then I found myself…
Expressing gratitude for each of my six kids, my life, and that I was blessed to have Shelly in my world for more than thirty (30) years.
I spent the next little bit talking with God about the many, many things and ways that I have seen Him guide me and my family through all the challenges we’ve faced.
And more than anything I expressed gratitude that we are happy and thriving and have so much fun as a family. Even AS we face the trials of this world.
Almost immediately after saying, “Amen.” I popped up (okay, maybe only as much as a man my age with bad knees can pop up) and felt rejuvenated, invigorated and ready to take on the day with strength and courage.
And my eyes welled-up with tears again.
Only this time they were not tears of pain. Rather they were tears of joy for a Heavenly Father that loves ME. A Heavenly Father that knows ME by name. That listens and talks with ME. That comforts ME and energizes ME in a way that makes ME feel like I can “take on the world.”
All too often I find that I internally tell myself to “man-up.” You know… push through. Be tough. Fight through the challenge. Keep on keeping on. Just keep going.
I’ve decided maybe there’s a better way. A different, more effective way.
Maybe instead of trying to “Man-Up” I should instead jump straight to what I’m doing today…
And “God-Up.”
We all will face those days. Overwhelmed, discouraged, fearful, exhausted, even terribly broken.
My recommendation? Have a talk with God. Get real. Express your fears and worries to Him. Share your failures and insecurities. Talk to Him about it all. And listen.
God wants to calm us, comfort us. He wants us to be happy, to find joy. He wants for us what WE want for us.
God knows YOU by name. He wants to help YOU. He will listen. He is simply waiting… patiently, lovingly, waiting.
All we have to do is ASK.
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